One last glipmse in the past

I was lucky that my path lead me the way it did. It brought me to places and people who showed me at a very young age already what is possible in life. I travelled a lot already but only a small fraction of this time I actually travelled like most people would do nowadays I feel. Going to places to spend a day or two look at things, take a picture and leave again. I did that but lost interest pretty fast and then I started to volunteer in numerous projects which allowed me to see a bit the life behind the curtains which are hanged for tourists. I hitchhiked from project to project and tried to expand my horizon as much as possible as well as I tried to lay my hands upon any task I could find. To try, to learn, to experience. I fell in love with this way of living and after two years I visited home. But home was not there anymore where I thought it was. The feeling had left and it was somewhere out there in the world. So I embarked yet again on my journey and another five years flew by. Marked by special people, experiences and revelations about myself. Although I would never claim to fully know myself I would say I have a pretty good idea of what and who I am. Nevertheless I ask this questions again and again as I see myself change and grow a lot. It will never be a question with a definite answer. As we all are more than just this or that. In the end we are everything and everyone and shall treat it therefore with respect. Besides breaking my brain about the non physical realm I had the luck to meet and work with many masters of their crafts. I am a person who likes to work with hands, building tables, shelfs out of wood, learn how to weld structures, building man high dry stonewalls and stonewalls with concrete, fibreglassing and many more things.

I did everything to the satisfaction of my teachers but I would never claim to be a master in anything neither do I want to be. Although I highly value the mastery in such skills my practical thinking mind prefers the working and good enough solution. As well as fixing the problem reducing astethics rather than buying new. Everything is and can be art. I started to slowly learn that whilst visiting so many different lifes. But it took it´s pinnacle when I was part of a sailing street circus. There I lost my heart to the sea and the art of life.

Besides working I follow my nose to dive into adventures. To visit mountain tops only to feel my lungs burning whilst hiking, to visit lifes of people who are different. Like hippies trying to manifest everything in their lives and waiting paitiently, to workaholics which want everything yesterday and enough is never enough.

I learned to embrace community as much as to embrace the time spent by myself. Having lived in many different communties and normally travling on my own have taught me those two exceptional ways of living. Which are even more beautiful when intertwined. I have lived in communties from five people in one caravan to twenty people on a several acre farm. Both beautiful in their own way. But I have spent weeks on end alone traveling, seeing and feeling. Yet again I had the luck to end up in a ten day Vipassana retreat at the foot hills of the highest mountains on this planet. Which introduced me to the tool of dealing with as well as almost enjoying every feeling. So I stand strong on the edge of a cliff where only a few dare to stand like this tree.

Although introduced and learned I am far away of being a master in it. But I understood something and I have the feeling it is the reason why I can always see a light at the end of the tunnel no matter how dark it is. But this something is not a thing which can be described neither a feeling. What it is I cannot even tell you. But somehting in me changed. Perhaps the perspective from where I observe what is happening. One revelation which came to me quite early in life as well as is that although as a kid and teenager you grow up thinking as soon as you are an adult everything will make sense, you will know everything you need to know. Quite the contrary is the case in my mind and I heard it so often from other people no matter what age. Perhaps just finding peace with not having a sense as well as not knowing everything could be much better. As long as you keep your curiousity alive and the willingness to see, try and listen you might have found the latter already. Knowing everything though sounds to me like the biggest curse because once the magician reveals his trick the magic is gone. But how could you dare to live like this in our world as knowing is the only way to spread awareness of what is going “right” and “wrong” on this planet. Because the food on our plates does not magically appear. But comes from the most important people of our society, the farmers. That is just one example of many.

From the Kiwi to Nasi Goreng passing by Buddihst temples till i reached Angkor Wat.

Tasting Pho and discovering many caves finally lead me to ten days of silence at the foothills of our biggest giants. Then my way lead me far south to the Cape of Good Hope before I closed in on my home continent. There I stayed for years dodging lock downs. And then I found peace at sea. The wind started to carry me west to the ocean but I didn´t cross as my path pointed north where I spent almost a full year in the ice. The cold, majestic snowy mountain tops which crash directly into the sea are poking me in my dreams. Although darkness prevails at those latitudes at certain times I feel the longing to return even though at times I didn´t feel well. But something else just appeared on my horizon which might change everything. I feel like a dancer, a dreamdancer, twisting, turning, smiling, breathing hoping to find a place in your hearts.

Short and brisk is this summary of seven years. Too many adventures and experiences to even recollect. That is why I shall start here at this crossroad. Crossroads are good places to meet as everything can change there which way you will walk into your future.

Stay sharp and let the magic grab you!